What the.....not being able to beat 'em, I joined them.

Ok, I know. No need to ....ah well.

Megatron Yeah!

I AM
71%
MEGATRONTake the Transformers Quiz

Nobody Told Me There'd Be Days Like This

Actually.

I don't know if I am just a perfectionist.
Or a pessimist wanting to act like an optimist.
Or too sensitive over things I could not really do anything about anyway.

But they do happen. Things like this one.
And I am just not too good looking to post vlog over YouTube - that may win over some 10k subscribers and 1 million views. Who needs them anyway.

Sometimes when these days do happen, I just look toward the high tower of eternity. Looking around the bend. This too will pass.

That this is for a greater purpose. F**k. At times, I am just excusing the yin for the sake of the yang.

If you were to ask the darn philosophers - whom I turn to when all the people around me are momentarily just a bunch of a-holes - they would say (Okay, Martin would say) "Live the moment. Live the pain. Accept it. It hurts. Don't deny. The more it will hurt you."

So I do.

It f**kin' hurts that sometimes - okay, most of the times - you exert everything you have in you, talk to 3,000 people everyday, sit down in three thousand meetings hearing basically the same things, spend more time going to and fro the buildings than sitting at your table - sometimes you do all that, and then, because of that, you miss a thing - and why? because you were in some goddam meeting that does not concern you primarily - and there are no floating vegetables anymore but hey - and because of that, all hell breaks loose.

I hate it when a good thing would go wrong.

At the back of my mind, the days of PB-Greenhills are always there. When I was young and restless and very productive. But, there's always that whisper: Go on. Move on. Forget Paris. Forget Prudential. Move on.

Can I not find something like it?

**God I remember Andrea's book (THE favorite book now): "When you're lost...make every place look like home".

"If you're afraid of the dark, add one more star to the night". Aaaaw. (Andrea mimicks that)

Ok, I am just going to feel bad a bit more. Just this day. Three more hours. Tomorrow, I pick up a new, better card.

And hope that Language Objectives don't repeat on my student activities anymore. Or those petty things that are but unicellular organisms in this vast ocean of Georgeness. Which nobody recognizes anyway.

And if it does not work out....

I could always say good bye.

Again.


"...alone, once more alone...a travelling boy, and merely passing through...."

Love and Venus

Again, 17 years ago, John and I wrote this song.

LOVE AND VENUS

scared, scared to death
tired, running out of breath
hear me calling to you
woh

long, long are the nights
short, short are my arms
longing for you

how can i
how can i make it through
got to be
got to be with you
can't you see
can't you hear
have you an eye
have you an ear
have you a heart
that beats for love

they shattered the wall
venus and love
they make us fall
while i dream of you above
woh
while round and round and round
the world is going round

i'll shatter the wall
between us and love
i'll make them fall
i'll dream of you above

Sometimes I Get So Nervous

This is a song I wrote when I was just 19. Some 17 years ago. Back when I was still pessimistic about everything. I even claimed the "Mister Pessimister" of TFF as my own.

Sometimes I Get So Nervous

sometimes i get so nervous

on my way to the town circus

thinkin' by myself would the clowns show up

or are they tired already

sometimes it gets so scary

as i plan on climbin' the cherry

worryin' would the cherry fall

hit my head to the wall

is my tree so tall

or is it too small

does it look like a tree to thee

it doesn't to me...

sometimes i ask myself

would there be someone to watch over me

would someone listen as i sing this song

without thinking i just jumbled the words and this doesn't mean a thing

sometimes i ask is there someone out there

except god ...

sometimes i get so crazy

and i write a song about me

a song that many won't understand

as a clap of one hand

as a guitar buried in the sand

a song that goes.... on and on...

I wrote a song "Are You Out There?" - a song intended for God. Thing is, after a month or two, a strong earthquake happened. That was July 16, 1990. And I was in UST then. As I look above the Main of "my UST"... I saw the cross shaking....and it looked like a message or a vision. So the lyrics..."is there someone out there...except god.." is like a resignation that. Ok, he is there. But aside from him...?

Which Tarot Card Am I

You are The Lovers

Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.

The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.

Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I bought a book "Tarot Cards for Dummies" at Book Sale today. It's worth 5 pesos! Then, I saw the blog entry of Hayden. Just couldn't resist doing this.